Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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