We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
