You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
