He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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