and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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