I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
