Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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