somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
