I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I lost the right to judge tonight
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Randomize
