Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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