direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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