Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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