ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
