When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
