don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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