You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
