I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
It's shark week go big or go home
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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