Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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