note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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