my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
