no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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