so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
