no. you can't hotbox the world.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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