Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
This house was built for laser tag.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
