what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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