She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
