Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
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