Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
