So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
