P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
