well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
