In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
