...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
