lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
