I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
