I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
