So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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