Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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