just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
So much Jack, so little girl.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
