I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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