He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
