I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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