i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
