he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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