Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
