He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
