My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
