you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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