I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
