3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
