Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Less talking, more tequila
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
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