My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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