Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I haven't been this sober since birth.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
