You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
don't judge my taste in strippers
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Randomize
