you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Drake has all the answers
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
